What is conscious parenting?
- A profoundly new and transformative approach to parenting
Rather than the traditional approach of raising the child, this is about raising the parent
How you parent your children is profoundly influenced by how you were parented yourself
- And how every decision you make about your parenting is coming from your own wounded child and your own projections
- Parenting is not about control rather it is about connection, and not about projecting onto your child the fantasy child you thought you'd have
This approach is provocative and will challenge you and your ego as a parent.
Most of us are not awakened, we are truly outward looking and materialistic and focused on doing rather than being.
Instead, we need to look inwards to our spiritual self and be truly present. We need to move to the internal world from our external world.
How are we still affected by our own upbringing?
The conscious journey is a never ending journey, there is no eventual destination. We were raised on a sense of self worth dependent on our school grades, accomplishments, appearance, job title, etc. We are raised on our identity being based on how well we play the self worth game. Parents are so stressed out because they are trying to raise the next star prodigy. Rather than allowing the child to become who they need to become. Parents are living in a fantasy world of who their child may become rather than the reality of who they are. Every parent does this.
We are so caught up in the creation of their childhood that the ordinary child is unattractive. When you can truly love your child at their bare minimum then you truly parent authentically and consciously. We need to strip away school grades, accomplishments, etc to like and love them unconditionally and authentically. It is parenting the bare essence of who your child really is. That is the essence of the true worth of a child. It is what every child wants is to be seen as they truly are.
Society is caught up in accomplishments and institutions. What school our child goes to, what suburb we live in, getting married, how and where we give birth to children, our job titles etc. This is the western material unawakened world.
The Awakened World and Parenting
This is stepping outside the matrix of accomplishments and institutions. However, living in the matrix in a conscious way is very achievable. This is not a snowflake way of parenting.
It is acknowledging their resistance and things they don't want to do so they know we understand them. Motivation needs to come from within.
Optional things are ego based. For example does your child want to learn French or is it you wanting them to learn French? This is our projection.
Basic needs of human living are consciousness based.
Once you base your parenting in connection (with healthy boundaries) you will revolutionise your relationship with your child and your parenting. A key part of this is teaching self-regulation via co-regulation. And this is why gentle attachment based sleep training is so important. It teaches children to manage their impulse control and emotions.
Childhood is not a stepping stone of adulthood. Childhood is childhood.
Parents put pressure on parents. We are stuck in fear based parenting and a fear of letting go of control and accomplishments. Children are much happier when they are allowed to be, rather than do. To do this as parents we need a village or a tribe to hold each other up.
As a child I was very fortunate to be raised in a conscious way. My parents allowed all of my siblings and myself to find our own way and there was no pressure on school or grades. Unlike the experience of my school-friends who had so much pressure to achieve. They were stressed to high heaven. I knew at that age how toxic this parenting was.
In the spiritual world we look at shadow work as essential and that is what this shift is. It is looking at the dark side to move to the light. When we move back to centre in our disconnected world and reconnect and move away from instant gratification and an ego based world we move to connection.